Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
