so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
