I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think i have two assholes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
