Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
