if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
