if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
