Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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