my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize