i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
