Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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