me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
