I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
