Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
