escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Someone signed my nipple.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
