Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
