party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Enjoy the penises
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
