There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
