I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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