halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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