He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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