im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
