hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
