all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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