remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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