Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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