I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
