I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I did not marry a roomba.
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