Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
