uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
