I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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