girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
