i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
