A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
