Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize