And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
