Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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