What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
