Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
