if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
