How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize