i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
