so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
