i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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