Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
