Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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