where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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