he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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