Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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