I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
