Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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