I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
