paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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