no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize