i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
