so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
