Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
