i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
