I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
