Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
