sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
