I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
