This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
