allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
