Welp...herpes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
